It began with the giggling
by Halo Cyan
Summary: A very angry Genesis bursts into Angeal's room to accuse Zack of mischief. Angeal would like to defend his student, but he knows it's useless. After all, Zack had been giggling before it all began. Rated T because I'm paranoid about the themes.
1. Giggles lead to mischief

**I feel obliged to write this. I know I forgot in my last story, but I feel obliged now.  
I do not own Final Fantasy 7, Crisis Core, Zack, Angeal, Genesis, or any of the other duckies. **

It began with the giggling: an ill-concealed snigger here, a hidden smirk there. And perhaps most obvious, was the fleeing from rooms whenever _he_ happened to enter. Normally, Angeal wouldn't care. He knew perfectly well that an amused Zack meant that someone else within his vicinity was highly _un_amused. And that was okay, after all Zack was an able person who could sort out any trouble he had landed himself in. Yes, normally, he wouldn't care, except that this time, the subject of Zack's amusement happened to be the leather-clad red commander. Angeal did _not_ trust his student to save himself from any trouble which would inevitably arise from inciting Genesis's ire. Unfortunately, Angeal should have known that if Zack was giggling, plans had been set in motion which even he, as a First Class Soldier, would be hard-pressed to stop.

The first incident born of Zack's giggling occurred on the third Tuesday of the month. It was a chilly day with a blanket of cloud completely suffocating out the sunlight. Angeal had just watered the plants in his room and was lovingly murmuring to them when Genesis slammed open the bedroom door and stormed in. A lesser man would have jumped in surprise and cowered in his boots, but Angeal, having known Genesis since childhood, merely looked up in curiosity.

"Genesis, can I help you?" His mild tone seemed to irritate the commander.

"Yes!" He hissed in reply, "Maybe you could explain this?" He held up a pair of his underwear – the ones that were less than appropriate to display due to having questionable phrases splattered across them. At first Angeal averted his eyes, he did not want to see his best friend's underclothes, especially – and Goddess forbid – if they had yet to be washed. Genesis however, had no qualms about waving his personal items in Angeal's face.

"Look!" he hissed again. Shuddering internally, Angeal turned his gaze towards the underwear. Big red letters spelled "SMACK THAT" on the back and the rest was adorned with haphazardly placed pink hearts. Certainly, there were no holes or tears in it that – and Goddess forbid once more, because Angeal _only_ patched up his torn shirts – Genesis might want to have fixed.

"What's wrong with them?" he asked, a small prick of anxiety flourishing in his stomach (he absolutely refused to stitch up or alter underwear. He'd do shirts, pants, shorts even, but _not_ underwear).

"There are _hearts_ on it!" Genesis glared at him for not picking it out instantly.

Angeal blinked at him in confusion, "Of course there are, what of it?"

"They weren't there before."

Angeal raised his eyebrows and made a small 'O' with his mouth in understanding. "So… do you want to wash it off then?" He asked as Genesis made no further comment, opting instead to glower.

"_No._ I mean, yes, but that's not why I'm here." He said. Angeal tilted his head forward, waiting for the inevitable accusation. It came as he knew it would "Zack did this, I want you to find him and punish him!"

Ah, there it was: the accusation as expected. "What proof do you have that Zack did it?" Angeal asked. It was a stupid question, of course Zack had done it. Zack had been giggling all week and hanging out by the Laundromats where Genesis washed his clothes day in and day out. Still, Angeal felt that he needed to at least try to defend his student. Fail miserably, but at least _try._

In response to Angeal's question, Genesis pulled out a second pair of underwear. He shook it out and turned it around so Angeal could see the back. On it was a crudely drawn picture of a man with…

Angeal groaned. It was a terrible picture, but it was unmistakable: a raven haired man wearing the standard Shin-Ra First Class uniform with a large blade on his back. As if that wasn't enough of a giveaway, there was a small speech bubble above his head saying "honour".

"It's a picture of you!" Genesis spat "There is a picture of you on my underwear! Who else but Zack would have drawn this? He's your _only_ student, you are his _only_ mentor."

Angeal closed his eyes in horror, firstly, because he could not comprehend the horror of having his likeness so close to Genesis's backside, and secondly, because he could no longer deny that the perpetrator was Zack.

"I will talk to him about it." Angeal sighed to his friend. Genesis nodded sharply and stormed back out of his room. Angeal put his hands to his temples and began to rub, hoping to avert the oncoming headache.

Well, Genesis would never leave his clothes unattended at the Laundromats ever again.

As he moved out of his room into the kitchen, Angeal mused that perhaps Zack's giggling had been leading up to this moment. In which case, the trial was over, and they could – if only temporarily; until Zack's next harebrained prank – live in peace.

A man had never been more wrong.

**I've never done something like this before. Firstly because I always complete my stories before putting them up (I dislike updating – I forget), secondly because I'm not sure where this is going and I also dislike not knowing endings (It was a random passing idea, not an actual story). There is no guarantee that I'll update/finish this, but I hope you'll find this chapter funny enough. **

**- Halo**


	2. Personal Space is appreciated

**Well, here's the second instalment. Thanks to HazzaTL3 for the nudge to keep writing :)  
Not my best piece of writing. I am totally out of it today, I mean, I did try to walk into the shower fully clothed. I blame lack of sleep. **

The second incident happened three days later. Looking back on it, Angeal figured that he _really_ should have made more of an effort to track down Zack after the first incident. It had slipped his mind amid the busy paperwork and mundane missions. And after the first few times of going straight to his voicemail every time he attempted to call the boy, Angeal had just given up. Besides, he hadn't seen Zack in a while either, so why make things complicated for himself?

Yes, looking back, he _really_ should have made more of an effort.

The clouds were thick and small droplets of water were haphazardly falling to the earth signalling a rainy day. Having forgotten their umbrellas, Genesis and Angeal made their way from their shared apartment down to the Shin-Ra buildings. Angeal shuffled tiredly down the path while Genesis darted from under one cover to another, hoping to avoid wetting his hair. As they reached the building, each swiped their cards and greeted the receptionists before taking the elevator up to the SOLDIER floor.

Exiting onto their floor, they were met with Sephiroth who was holding a cup of coffee and the morning's newspaper.

"Good morning." Sephiroth greeted them with a smooth voice.

"Mornin' Seph" Genesis yawned at him.

"Good morning " Angeal also mumbled out. He wasn't feeling particularly great this morning. Genesis had spent the last few days trying to rinse out the pictures on his underwear, then, failing at that (what kind of marker had Zack used? It had barely faded after the repeated washings), he had insisted on buying new ones. So not only had Angeal been forced to shop with Genesis – which he hated very much due to the auburn taking so long in each shop (he visited dozens too) – he had also been victim to watching Genesis burn his old underwear (with his image, let us not forget. It felt strange to have his image burnt to ashes, even if it was on his best friend's underwear) in the fireplace while sprinkling it with more alcohol and reciting verses from Loveless.

Before they turned the corner to walk into their respective offices, Genesis grunted and excused himself, making off to the bathroom which just preceded the bend in the corridor. Angeal and Sephiroth nodded their farewells and went forward.

Sephiroth's office was the first down the corridor so he didn't notice anything amiss as he walked inside. However, when Angeal turned to face his own office door, he frowned. On it were hearts. _The same kind of hearts that had been on Genesis's underwear_, he noted with a sinking heart. As if to make matters worse, beneath the silver name plate that said 'Angeal Hewley' was another one saying 'Genesis Rhapsodos'. It had been roughly stuck on with some sort of adhesive which, no matter how hard Angeal pulled, it would not come off. He sighed, and then remembered Genesis's office. If Genesis's name was on _his_ door, then what was on _Genesis's_ door?

As it turned out, there was nothing on Genesis's door. Instead it had been firmly locked and no matter how hard Angeal pushed, it would not open. He groaned, and gave one last shove, hoping it would yield. It did not.

Resigned, he went back to his own door. He would call Lazard and ask him if he knew anything about this. He hoped (although it was a futile hope and Angeal knew it – the hearts kind of gave it away) that perhaps Lazard had rearranged the offices for some purpose.

Head bowed, he opened the door to his office and entered. With his head still bowed, the first thing he noticed was the overwhelming scent of perfume in the room. Specifically, rose perfume. The next thing he noticed were the red petals scattered all over the floor… and (as he looked up) all over the desks …and (Goddess help them all) all over the paperwork. The dim light of the morning came in through the windows behind the desks, illuminating the scene, defining each horrific line in perfect clarity.

_Wait, _Angeal raised an eyebrow, _there were two desks_. Angeal only had one, but he had a foreboding feeling about who the second belonged to. He walked over to confirm. Yes, it was indeed Genesis's desk. It just so happened at that moment that footsteps passed by his door.

"Oh no, _Genesis_" he hissed to himself. He heard the footsteps come to a stop outside the door that – previously had – led into Genesis's office. He waited. Silence. Then the sound of the door rattling in its frame, then heavy thumps as (Angeal assumed) Genesis banged on the door to his now-inaccessible office. Then there were _really_ loud thuds which sounded curiously like heavy sacks being thrown at the wood. Then silence again.

Angeal began to feel uncomfortable. Finally, the footsteps started again and came to a stop outside Angeal's own door. He waited. There was more silence. He closed his eyes. He could imagine Genesis now, glaring at the hearts on the door. Glaring at his name being plastered under Angeal's. Glaring because it was morning and raining and he was confused and he just couldn't deal with this kind of crap this early.

Angeal knew what to expect, he calmly walked over to a small couch that was placed next to a bookshelf at the side of the room, sat down and closed his eyes. He began to count silently.

_One_

_Two_

_Three_

_Fou- _

The door was smashed off its hinges and hit the other side, cracking the window upon impact. Angeal opened his eyes. He was glad he had chosen seating off to the side of the room, away from the door's flight projection.

Genesis stood in the doorway, one leg and one eyebrow raised from the kick. Then he lowered both slowly. He had yet to see Angeal, who by that time was hoping to slip past him unnoticed.

Genesis slowly walked into the room. The first thing he noticed was the _two_ desks. The next thing was the petals. His eye twitched. He glared down at the petals. He walked over to his desk and glared down at more petals which were covering the piles of paper stacked neatly atop. He might have managed to keep from exploding had his eye not caught a small picture. He held it up.

From where he was sitting, Angeal (still unseen by Genesis), saw him walk up to his desk then pick something up. Angeal looked at it, squinting to see. He hoped it wasn't anything important; after all, he hadn't _seen _anything important on the desks (then again, he had only given the desks the briefest of glances). Then he paled. Within Genesis's fisted hand was a picture of himself and Genesis, both wearing nothing more than shorts, at their annual vacation at Costa Del Sol. They had their arms on each other's shoulders, grinning happily into the camera. Normally, this would not have frightened Angeal, however, on this photo was a large red heart encompassing both their smiling faces. Without said heart, the picture was innocent – two friends enjoying a day at the beach. With that heart around them… well, things didn't look so innocent. Genesis began shaking and his shoulders tightened.

It was at this point that Angeal decided that fleeing the room was an excellent idea. He dashed out and down the corridor. The elevator was just opening as he arrived and one of Sephiroth's secretaries (a poor boy named Joel who had just begun to work there) began to exit. Angeal would have none of it. Dragging the poor boy in with him, Angeal repeatedly pressed the button for ground floor. Joel, at this point began trembling, but he still managed (bless his brave soul) to squeak out: "S-sir, where are we going? I need to give these papers to Sephiroth."

Angeal shot him a quick look then began to reply. "Uhm… Now's not a good…" he faded into silence as a shockingly loud voice boomed through the corridor: "FIRAGA." Then "DIE PETALS DIE!" And _then _"I'LL KILL YOU ZACK FAIR. YOU'RE DEAD! YOU HEAR ME? DEAD!"

The fire alarm started not long after and the sprinklers in the building came alive. Thankfully, by that time, Angeal and Joel had safely exited the building.

They watched as a couple of fire trucks screeched their way down the road towards the Shin-Ra building as masses of people tumbled out in haste.

It looked like this mess would take a while to sort out. Angeal stretched and began wandering down to his favourite café.

"Zack…" he mumbled under his breath as he walked. He vowed to find him as soon as possible, or at least, before Genesis did.

* * *

Zack stared into the screen as it flickered and popped into darkness, making the dimly lit room gloomier.

"Well, that didn't go as planned." He muttered.

"No, it didn't. I guess he needs more…_ encouragement._" A male voice next to him spoke. Then there was a sigh "And such a waste of money too... those surveillance cameras cost a lot you know… at least I didn't buy the bugs too…"

"Yeah, and at least it's not as much as those repairs are going to cost." Zack giggled "The whole SOLDIER floor is ruined."

"Yeah… I guess no work tomorrow then. We can continue with our plan…" A faint smirk was heard in the voice. Zack joined in.

**Oh my! I just smelt rose perfume, I have no idea where that came from as we do not have rose perfume anywhere in the house. I shall call this phenomenomnomnom "Hallucination due to lack of sleep and hunger". **

**Who do you think the other conspirator is?  
Okay, review, comment, feel free to share ideas.  
See you all!  
- Halo **


	3. No Entertainment with Meals Please

**First thing: thankies for the reviews! You are all so lovely! Unfortunately I don't know if this story will be as exciting as you've come to hope, but hopefully it will be close. **

**Second thing: Angeal and Genesis are friends and will remain so in this piece of fiction. This is a T rated fan fiction, so there will be suggestive content (I'm pretty sure the suggestive content will end after this chapter), but there will NOT be any adult scenes; I do not want to write those for ANY pairings. **

Cloud sat quivering in his chair. He was in a dark room with a bright lamp shining down onto his face. He could not see the faces of his captors – just their silhouettes, but he had a feeling he knew one of them. Still, this did not prevent him from shaking.

As the assailants spoke, Cloud became more and more fearful, until he finally gasped out "I can't do that!"

"Aw, come on Cloud!" was the only answer.

* * *

The third incident happened barely a week later, and it was this occurrence that began the hunt. The clouds were heavy and dark and sending down buckets of water. Angeal gloomily stared out the foggy window in a makeshift office which he had to share with both Sephiroth and Genesis. The repairs to the SOLDIER floor were still underway and until they were done, the members of SOLDIER were sharing a floor with the cadets. And with the extensive damage Genesis had caused, Angeal figured it would be another month or so before they could move back to their own floor. This was all Zack's fault. Angeal hated to pin the blame, but this time he couldn't help it. To make matters worse, he _still_ hadn't been able to track down Zack. _After what he's done, he's wise to be avoiding me – and Genesis – like the plague _Angeal thought miserably.

On his left, Sephiroth grunted as he moved a large stack of papers from one side of the desk to another. On his right Genesis yawned and stretched. Then the sound of writing pens began again. It continued for another half an hour before Genesis yawned again and stood up. He raised his arms above his head and bent to the side in a yoga pose, stretching. Sephiroth, too, stood and rolled his shoulders.

"Shall we go get lunch?" Genesis glanced at his friends. Angeal nodded and stood up as well, pushing his chair back in the process.

"Want to go down to the café just up the road?" he asked, then looked out the window. Genesis looked too. It was raining very heavily.

"Perhaps it is too wet to go out today." Sephiroth commented. Genesis nodded and subconsciously ran a hand through his hair. Then he shuddered.

"That means the mess hall… on this floor…" he moaned "I have to deal with cadets."

"Come now, it's not so bad." Sephiroth reassured him. Genesis gave a resigned sigh and followed as Angeal lead the way.

The army's mess hall was much larger than that for SOLDIER, but due to the rain and loss of the SOLDIER floor, it was also much more crowded. Genesis huffed as he looked over all the heads.

They stood in line and bought their meals then wandered back to the emptiest table they could find (scaring away two gossiping cadets as they did so). Angeal sat next to Genesis and Sephiroth sat across the table.

As they took their first few bites, a small cadet bumped into Angeal's shoulder, accidentally causing him to stab Genesis in the hand with a fork. Genesis snatched his hand back and glared at first Angeal, then at the cadet. Sephiroth looked up from his sandwich in interest.

The cadet squeaked and stuttered something too quiet for even the SOLDIERS' advanced hearing.

"What?" Genesis asked harshly.

Angeal gave his friend a prod and turned to the cadet and asked gently: "Is there something we can help you with?"

The cadet in front of them looked at him with wide, terrified eyes. He was very young and would be quite handsome once time had worn on him, but for now, he was a blue eyed, beautifully blonde, slight boy barely as high as Sephiroth's elbow.

"U-uh…" He began. Angeal started to get a bit concerned for the boy's health, it looked like he was about to faint. Then slowly, he began to whisper out:

"_The fairest man, I e'er saw, sat once beside me on a sunny morn..."_

Genesis's jaw dropped as did his knife and fork. Angeal was too surprised to speak, _what was this? A confession in the form of a poem?_

As the cadet continued, his voice became louder and clearer. He seemed to have forgotten where he was because his eyes took on a dreamy, distant look.

"_We sat there high upon the grass, basking in summer's ardour. It was the way the breeze played with his hair and sent it my way, bringing forth the scent of rose, and it was the way that his azure eyes gazed upon mine…"_

By this time, the cadet was loud enough that several diners nearby had quieted and were listening to him.

"_His silken skin, his hand in mine, his soft whispers in that summer grass…_"

By now, everyone in the room could hear it and everyone had turned to watch the performance. Both Genesis and Angeal were too shocked to move. Genesis's face, in particular, was moulded into a very rarely seen expression.

By now, the cadet had finished. With his last line (_"And it was on that summer morn, that I met the fairest man I e'er saw."_) the cadet bowed at them both. By this point, Genesis had come out of his horrified daze.

"The – " Angeal clapped his hand over his friend's mouth before he could swear. The cadet went back to being terrified then let out a very loud squeal and bolted. But before he could get very far, Genesis shot out of his seat and whacked the back of the cadet's head, effectively knocking him out. Angeal made a small noise of protest but otherwise didn't move.

"Let's see who put you up to this…" Genesis smirked dangerously. He motioned for Angeal and Sephiroth to follow. They did silently.

No one had noticed the small flashes of light and whirring of a camera throughout the poem.

* * *

Back in that dark room the voice spoke again: "Worked like a charm Zack, how did you know Cloud could do it?"

"It's because he has a girl back home, even if he won't admit it. He thinks of her and forgets all else when he recites poetry. Which means that he'll go through with it whereas other cadets would have fainted in fear half way through." Zack winked at his partner-in-crime.

"Hmm, I see… Well, we got the photos, which was the main point." The co-conspirator smiled.

"Yeah…" Zack agreed "You know, I never thought I'd see such expressions on Genesis's face, but what we're doing now is getting results."

"Yeah… Nothing else works. He usually just gets angry, and he's alwaysangry anyway so… we needed something fresh…"

"Hey, one more thing though" Zack perked up.

"What is it?"

"We gotta go rescue Cloud."

**So it's more than just a plot to irritate Genesis. Where will the photos end up? What will happen to Cloud?**

**Reviews and comments are appreciated :)  
-Halo**


	4. Caged Birds should Sing not Fly

**Woo! You guys are awesome! It gets a bit more serious from here on, but hopefully I can drop in an amusing line here and there :)  
**

For the second time that week, Cloud found himself sitting in a chair faced with a bright light.

"Who put you up to this?" Genesis's harsh voice sounded behind him.

Poor Cloud was too scared to speak.

"Who was it?!"

Cloud merely whimpered in response.

There was an irritated sigh behind him, and then a softer voice spoke "Genesis, this is stupid. We're pretty certain it was Zack…"

_So they knew it was him! _Cloud thought in panic. He had to warn Zack.

"Fine" he heard Genesis growl "Then I want to know _why_ he's doing this."

Cloud felt a hand on his shoulder. It wasn't a very intimidating hand, but Cloud started shaking so badly that the chair he was on began to slowly vibrate around in circles. Before he could fully turn around and face them, Genesis grabbed the chair and turned Cloud back towards the light.

"So, cadet. Why is Zack Fair doing this?" Genesis began again.

Cloud tried, oh Goddess he _tried._ But he was much, _much_ too scared to stand up to them. He had already been here for ten minutes without spilling anything which was nothing short of phenomenal. He'd even kept quiet when they'd threatened him.

"Cadet, let me remind you where you are and what could happen if you refuse to answer me."

Cloud knew very well what would happen if he didn't answer Genesis's questions: he would be fried alive.

"Start singing little chocobo…" Genesis's voice sang right next to his ear.

Cloud finally screamed and broke. "It was – it was Zack! He made me! He– he and– and they-" then he yelped and his head dropped onto his chest. He was out cold.

"You scared him too much, Genesis. He's fainted." Sephiroth commented. So far he had not taken part in the interrogation, but now he stepped forward.

Genesis put his hand to his face in frustration "Idiot cadet! Thinks we'd let him go if he fainted? Just wait until he wakes up, then I'll–"

Angeal, who had been gazing curiously at the cadet after he had fainted, held his hand up to stop his friend.

"Look." He muttered and pointed at Cloud's neck. There, buried in the skin was a miniscule dart. It was so small that it would have gone unnoticed had the lamp not shone on it, causing a small spark to be reflected back from the metal surface.

"What… is that?"

Gently Angeal pulled it out. It was a small cylindrical tube attached to a tiny, tiny needle.

"Tranquillizer…" Sephiroth breathed.

All three SOLDIERs tensed. Silently drawing out their swords, they looked towards the door.

"From the keyhole…" Genesis whispered. Angeal nodded and held up his fingers where his friends could see them and began counting:

_Three, two, one…_

The three of them burst from the room into the long corridor rarely used in the Shin-Ra complex. There was no one, not even a shadow.

"He escaped!" Genesis ground out in irritation, then: "Sephiroth, stay here, he can't have gone too far. Angeal and I will go find him."

Sephiroth nodded once and closed the door behind him. He stood right outside, barring both entry to and exit from the room.

As Genesis disappeared down the hallway, he yelled back "And don't let the cadet escape! I have to question him when he wakes up!"

Sephiroth grunted. Of course he wouldn't let the cadet escape. How silly of Genesis to say such a thing. A sharp prick hit the left side of his neck. Blinking, he stood up. Already his thoughts had become fuzzy, but he wasn't completely out yet. Then two more pricks came in rapid succession. The last thing Sephiroth remembered as he fell to the floor, was two pairs of SOLDIER boots, running towards him.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Angeal and Genesis came back to find a sleeping Sephiroth sprawled across the hallway. When they examined him, they found the same tranquillizer darts embedded in his neck as the Cadet had had.

"Oh no…"

Genesis pushed the door open and glared into the room. Of course… the cadet was gone. Someone (namely Zack – he was going to _kill _the Second when he found him) had come to rescue the little chocobo.

* * *

After the embarrassment at lunch, then the kidnapping of a cadet and failed interrogation, the three SOLDIERs (after Sephiroth had been revived) had called it quits and had gone home for the day. Normally Lazard would have prevented them by lamenting about the amount of work to be done, but one glance at Genesis's angry face and even Angeal's slighty irritated one, he had scurried back to his own office.

So now the three men were sitting around the circular tea table in Genesis and Angeal's apartment. Sephiroth was rubbing his temples to ease a headache while a slowly cooling cup of tea sat before him. Genesis had gone silent and was staring off into space, chewing his lip and occasionally sipping his own beverage. Angeal sighed as he reached Zack's voicemail for the hundredth time.

"_Hey, you've reached Midgar's coolest Hero! I'm currently busy doing hero stuff, but leave a message and I'll get back to you…"_ Angeal cut the line and put his phone down.

Genesis glanced at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing. Still goes to voicemail" Angeal replied to the silent question.

Genesis looked away again. Then he raised a finger. Crinkling his forehead, he slowly began speaking: "I was thinking about what the cadet said…"

_Which was barely anything, and nothing we didn't already know _Angeal thought, referring to when he had mentioned Zack's name.

"Well… He said it was Zack…" Genesis paused "Then he went from saying 'he' to saying 'they'… which could mean… that Zack isn't working alone."

It was as if a lightbulb had been lit inside their heads.

"Of course! Zack wouldn't do this, he's probably being forced to!" Angeal felt a small tinge of hope, maybe he could pull his student out of this one: pin the blame on the other person or persons entirely.

"Besides, he's not smart enough to do it on his own. He must just be the brawn in this thing!" Genesis piped up excitedly. _Leave it to Genesis to turn it back on Zack, _Angeal thought – that tiny hope fading,_ AND make him sound like an idiot in the same sentence._

Sephiroth who had been listening slowly lowered his hands. "Two." he stated in his deep monotone "there were two pairs of boots. I saw them as I fell."

At this news Genesis nearly hit the roof in excitement. As he jumped, his cup flew out of his hand and smashed into one of Angeal's plants in the corner of the room (Angeal would give it a funeral later). "I KNEW IT!" He shrieked "See I was right! He _is_ too stupid to do it on his own". He grabbed Sephiroth's shoulders and brought his face close to him "Did you see who it was?"

Sephiroth tilted his head away from Genesis's wide grin. "I'm afraid not. I only saw the boots."

As if suddenly deflated, Genesis fell back into his chair. He sat there for a couple of seconds, then jumped up again.

"No problem. Now that we know that it's two people, we just have to go around and see who Zack's been hanging out with." Genesis nodded at his own wisdom. Oh, when he caught the two…

Angeal had listened patiently to Genesis's idea. It wasn't bad. Only thing was, if they couldn't reach Zack, how on Gaia were they supposed to reach his partner-in-crime?

**Yes, I think I know where I'm going with this story now :D  
As always, review and comment, I absolutely adore it when you do.  
-Halo**


	5. Most Shin-Ra Personnel wear Boots

**Chapters in rapid succession!**

When Cloud woke up, it was in yet another room, and this room was just as dark. He noticed that instead of sitting in a chair this time, he was lying on a bed. Slowly he raised his head and looked around blearily, wondering where he was now. He sighed, he no longer felt afraid. He reasoned that this was because he'd been through so much today that he simply had no fear left in him. This, of course, was utterly untrue because the moment the door to the room opened Cloud shrieked and curled up. A light was switched on (_please don't let it be a lamp,_ he prayed) and the door was closed then he felt someone heavy sit on the bed by his feet.

"Hey, Cloud. It's just me." Zack's voice drifted gently over. Slowly uncurling, Cloud turned to see him. It was indeed Zack. He relaxed. Then became angry.

"You nearly got me killed!" Cloud yelled at his friend.

"Yeah, but I saved you didn't I?"

"They were threatening to throw me into a pen of chocobos!" He yelled back.

"But I _did_ save you before that happened."

"Well… yeah…"

As Cloud was being appeased by Zack, a second person moved around just beyond the door. He reached for his phone and dialled a number.

It rang four times before a woman picked up.

"Yes?"

"I have the photos."

"Excellent, send them over. If they're good, you'll get your payment."

He pulled the phone away from his ear and quickly flicked through. His eyes caught the pictures he had downloaded from his camera that afternoon and sent them to the woman. Then he put his phone back up to his ear and waited. After a few minutes he heard her voice again:

"These are good. These are very good…"

"But…?" He prompted her as she faded into silence.

"But… He just looks shocked in all of these. Don't you have any more? Maybe where he's smiling? Or looking nervous… _Blushing?_ Blushing ones are invaluable."

The man thought for a few seconds before he answered. "Yes, I know, I tried. But it's hard to get him to blush… Still, I could try again… I still have time don't I?"

"Yes, you still have time. If you can get those, then I'll triple your pay."

"Excellent, we have a deal."

"Of course. And I'll send you payment for these ones."

* * *

Ever since Sephiroth's revelation, Genesis had begun to glare at every person wearing boots. This meant he had already scared half the accountants into resigning and about a third of the scientists. Thankfully, most of the receptionists were spared as most wore heels (otherwise Angeal would miss seeing Miranda every morning as he walked into work – he was just the tiniest bit sweet on her).

Angeal on the other hand, had been much more tactical than his volatile friend. He was Zack's mentor, so he knew most of the people Zack spent time with. Therefore he had made a list of them ranging from 'most likely to be the culprit' to 'least likely'. At the very top were the Turks, starting with Cissnei and ending with Reno, then came members of SOLDIER and the army, and finally, at the very end was Professor Hojo. Angeal seriously doubted that Zack would work with Hojo, but he couldn't rule out the possibility. After all, the scientist, twisted and cruel as he was, was also very intelligent.

Sephiroth had done nothing on the case. He had even forgotten about it, becoming so immersed in his day to day work. In fact, he had so completely forgotten about it that, during their way to work two days after the cadet interrogation, he shot Genesis a quizzical look when the auburn man trapped a (boot-wearing) urban development advisor in the elevator with them and began questioning him mercilessly ("WHERE ARE YOU HIDING HIM? WHERE!", "S-sir, I have n-n-no idea w-who you're t-t-talking about", "IF YOU DON'T TELL ME, I SWEAR BY THE GODDESS I WILL FRY YOU AND YOUR STUPID BEARD!"). By the time the elevator reached the twelfth floor, the poor man was already crying and begging. As the doors opened he squeezed himself out and began running down the hall screaming.

Sephiroth waited for some time after the doors had closed and the elevator had begun moving again to address his friend.

"Genesis, why were you questioning that man?"

"He was wearing boots. He might be associated with Zack. That's why."

Sephiroth made an 'O' of understanding. Then he said "But Zack is working with a SOLDIER."

Genesis, who had been facing the doors, turned to look at Sephiroth.

"What?"

"He's working with another SOLDIER. Those were SOLDIER boots I saw."

It was Genesis's turn to make the 'O' of understanding. Then he slammed his fist against the door hard enough to halt the elevator (Somewhere in a maintenance room, a small light flickered showing that elevator two had stopped working.).

"WHY ON GAIA DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT BEFORE?!"

* * *

Angeal was in the shared office pouring over his list, trying to ignore the fine storm that was working itself up outside, when a red-faced Genesis and ever-so-calm Sephiroth walked in. He checked his watch then looked at his friends.

"You're late, where ha…" the question died on his lips as Genesis exploded again.

* * *

So now they knew that they were looking for a SOLDIER operative who knew Zack. The problem was that due to Zack's overly enthusiastic demeanour and infamous reputation, _every_ SOLDIER knew Zack Fair. So they looked at it the other way. Who did _Zack_ know in SOLDIER? Who was there that he would trust greatly? Someone smart, someone sneaky… someone who was willing to risk life and limb just to get on Angeal and (more dangerously) Genesis's nerves it seemed ("In other words a complete idiot" Genesis murmured. Secretly, Angeal had to agree with him).

Angeal frowned. He knew many of Zack's friends, but he couldn't say that any one of them was more inclined to help Zack than the others. No, if they wanted to track the culprit down, they would need to be more professional than this. Professional…

Angeal groaned, making Genesis and Sephiroth look at him.

"Let's face it. We need help to find this guy."

**So let's review the facts: We know it's a man, we know Zack is familiar with him, and we know he's in SOLDIER. Any guesses to who he is now? **

**They're all getting a wee bit out of character. Did you notice? Is it obvious?**

**Thanks for reading!  
-Halo**


	6. Desperation calls for Professionalism

**I need more weather in this. See, I'm trying to do the whole "gloomy detective scenery" thing. **

The dull roar of thunder sounded outside as Tseng critically examined them. He was sitting with his elbows on his desk and his chin resting on interlaced fingers. The three First Class SOLDIERs regarded him from across the desk. After determining that Zack's partner-in-crime was not in the Turks, hence not Tseng, they had gone to him for help.

"So… You're looking for someone in SOLDIER who, along with Zack Fair, has been harassing both Genesis and Angeal." The head of the Turks muttered.

Angeal nodded "So, can you help us?"

Tseng chewed it over mentally as vicious rain and hail assaulted the glass behind him and gale force winds tried to force their way in through the tiny slits between the closed windows. Despite it being daytime, the lights were on, casting pale shadows around the room. Finally, he answered: "…Yes, I can help you… I will."

* * *

Due to Genesis's absolute refusal to eat in the army's mess hall after the poem recital, the three men had hazarded the storm and now found themselves sitting (beautifully soaked and hair in utter ruin in Genesis's case) around a dainty table at Angeal's favourite café. After agreeing to help them, Tseng had gotten out a short, fat notepad and taken numerous notes on each incident, asking questions where he deemed necessary. Then he had dismissed them, promising to contact them soon. Which was why Angeal's phone began to buzz in his pocket. Angeal pulled it out, and noting Tseng's name on the display screen, flicked it open.

"Angeal speaking."

There was a pause.

"Yes, I understand, but you will need to ask Genesis." Angeal nodded and passed the phone to Genesis who took it curiously.

"_Genesis?_" Tseng asked.

"Yes, this is Genesis. Did you find anything?"

"_No, we're just beginning our investigation. I'm calling to let you know that we need access to your bedroom._"

"How come?"

"_We, er, need to examine your underwear._" (No, that did not sound suspicious at all, Tseng reflected as he said it)

Genesis's face darkened as he remembered the underwear incident "My underwear… I'm afraid I've burnt it all."

There was a sigh on the other side of the line, then "_Burning the evidence… Very well, but we would still like access to your room._"

"Why mine?"

"_We have reason to believe that the culprits are targeting you and you alone..._"

Genesis's face became stormier and stormier as he listened. Finally he hung up and gave the phone back to Angeal. Angeal severely wanted to ask him what had been said, but waited: given enough time, Genesis would blurt it out on his own.

He knew his friend too well. Silence only lasted for two minutes before Genesis angrily slapped his hand onto the table. A few patrons who had braved the storm and made it to the café looked up in alarm but were ignored by the auburn SOLDIER who began speaking in a low, furious tone:

"Apparently _I'm_ the only one being targeted." He snarled. It was obvious that he was a little irritated at Angeal. If Genesis was to suffer, he didn't want to suffer alone. Especially if it was at the hands of his best friend's student.

"Why do they think that?" Sephiroth asked, piqued that someone would be brave enough to target Genesis and Genesis only.

Genesis turned his glare on Sephiroth "Because. It was _my_ underwear, _my_ desk that was moved, and if Zack is really behind all this, which we know he is," (Angeal had given up hoping for Zack's innocence by this point) "then obviously he'd be too chicken to go after Angeal." (_Ah, both stupid and a chicken. What fine opinions you have on my student, Genesis._)

"I see." Murmured Sephiroth, nodding slowly, "It makes sense." (_And Sephiroth, you think the same about him. Well, I would expect no different due to Genesis's constant brainwashing_)

Angeal sighed and pushed back his chair, catching the other two's attention.

"I wonder how long this will take." He said in response to their stares.

"According to Tseng? A week."

* * *

Zack and Cloud giggled, one of them in anticipation, the other out of nervousness as the man in front of them laid out plans. The upcoming week was going to be quite entertaining.

**Note to self – the dining table is too uncomfortable to be inspiring.  
This quite a short and rather dull chapter, but it should be okay since I uploaded a bunch this time round.**

**Oh, and if you have suggestions as to what you want our **_**three**_** conspirators to do (Cloud is now part of this) let me know. I might just take your advice ;]**

**On the next chapter: A week of pranks! How will our dear Genesis take it? I love writing dramatic and volatile people. **

**Lots of love  
-Halo**


	7. A SOLDIER's Life is Perilous

**Alright, this chapter took longer than the others because I needed ideas and a suitable format.  
Oh and a reminder this **_**IS**_** T rated. There WILL be suggestive content in this one (sorry, I really did think it was over).**

**Enjoy – **

The trio were sitting in a small SOLDIER dorm. Cloud was happily typing up fan letters to Sephiroth (It was well known that the boy hero-worshipped the First) on the computer then emailing them over to their third party member who was sitting on one of the beds with his laptop. Zack watched with a smirkas said third party member made a few less-than-appropriate edits and readdressed a large number of those letters to Genesis.

"Zack, have we missed anything?" The member asked when he noticed Zack grinning at him. Zack looked down at a 'to do' list that had been crafted specifically to irritate Genesis then shook his head.

"Nah, we got everything" He grinned slyly.

"Excellent. This week should be _fun_..."

* * *

In Angeal's opinion, it was the most exhausting week he had ever endured. It had started off mildly and then grown into a tempest, throwing all sense of peace and normality to the winds to be shredded. He shuddered reviving it all:

On Monday, Angeal and Genesis walked into their office to discover that letters had found their way onto the desks of the SOLDIER Firsts. Thankfully, Angeal had expected further pranks from Zack and had warned Genesis well in advance.

That was why, as he walked up to his letter-covered desk that morning, Genesis just brushed the envelopes onto the floor and began his work as per norm, completely ignoring the pink frills and perfume that some of them exuded. Angeal, who also had letters on his desk, (although a _lot_ fewer than Genesis) did the same. They worked in silence for some ten minutes before Sephiroth entered the office with his morning coffee and newspaper. Angeal had _not_ warned Sephiroth about Zack, and was dismayed when Sephiroth took a look at the letters on his own desk, forsook his newspaper, and began to read them one by one. As he read, Angeal noted that his normally emotionless face became more and more serious. Then, with his brow furrowed, Sephiroth put down the last of his letters… and picked up one of _Genesis's_.

Angeal looked on in horror as Sephiroth began to read aloud:

"_Dear Genny-pie," _the First started, "_I have often watched you from afar. You have such beautiful –" _Angeal hiccupped. He didn't even want know how the writer knew about particular detail of Genesis's anatomy.

"_Your skill with a blade is amazing. I wish you would –" _This time Angeal fell into a coughing fit; his image of a sword in tatters.

"_It has always been my dream to meet you and –_" Sephiroth continued, unperturbed, which made it so much worse because these words, these scarring, scarring string of syllables, addressed to none other than Genesis, were coming from a deep, manly voice which Angeal had associated with one of his best friends. He would need therapy after this (He really hoped Shin-Ra had good mental health cover).

"_I wish I was amazing like you. You're absolutely brilliant, from the top of your head to the tip of your t– _" Angeal Squeezed his eyes shut " – _toes._" Sephiroth finished.

Angeal let out a breath that he had been holding in. Genesis, who had been trying his best to ignore the contents of the letter, paused at the end. Angeal was sure he would explode, but fortunately he only took a deep breath before continuing to shuffle through his SOLDIER forms. That was, until Sephiroth started reading another letter.

"_Dear Genny-Gen Pooch, I think about you all day and have even installed cameras in your room so I can watch you sleep…_"

Angeal didn't know how he made it out of the room in time as bright orange flames engulfed everything that day. Still it had been a close call and he had acquired more than a few singed hairs. (Thankfully, unlike the SOLDIER floor, this floor had been saved due to a third class SOLDIER who happened to be passing by with a water materia on hand at the time.)

* * *

On Tuesday, both Genesis and Angeal (_foolishly_, in Angeal's opinion) braved the storm and the possibility of another prank and found themselves amid fancily dressed (even Genesis admired their clothing – well, of course he would, the man had an impeccable sense of fashion) flamenco dancers.

It started as soon as they entered the Shin-Ra complex. A small crowd of attractive women dressed in tight corsets and vibrant blouses and flowery skirts were standing at the reception chatting. As soon as Genesis and Angeal entered through the door, they stopped and turned around to look at the two. Then one of them (a lively young woman) turned on a stereo as the rest danced their way to Genesis. Angeal, sensing danger, hastily scurried over to the reception desk, away from Genesis (and towards Miranda – wink). As they danced, Genesis made no move to stop them, opting instead to look a bit confused, but (fortunately) not angry.

After about two minutes of standing still while having women twirl around him, Genesis tried to break free and head towards the elevator. He succeeded in moving to his destination, but he failed to break free as the troupe of dancers followed him to the elevator. And then _into _the elevator with him. And_ then_ all the way up to their floor. Angeal had run ahead, opting to take the stairs, and was just in time to see the elevator open onto their floor, exposing a ruffled but unusually calm Genesis surrounded by dancing (albeit in a squished fashion) women. Without a single word, Genesis exited the elevator (while having skirts thrown into his face and disarraying his hair) and walked down the corridor to their office (while avoiding stepping on dainty, dancing toes). He entered the office (to the beat of the music) and found Sephiroth already there.

Sephiroth, with all his incredible intelligence on the battlefield and complete lack thereof when it came to social situations, looked up and asked the question: "Genesis, why are there dancing women following you?"

Genesis's eye twitched and Angeal gasped while the dancers moved around, unaware of any change in Genesis's demeanour. "Because…" Genesis began "because… because…Zack…" At this point, he began shaking violently, having gone red in the face. In concern for the dancers, Angeal quickly moved towards the girl who had the stereo and whispered for her to turn it off. His voice must have sounded panicked because the girl quickly complied. He then began to usher the dancers out of the room before Genesis could do anything… Too late.

_CRACK_

Genesis punched right through Sephiroth's desk which happened to be the closest, breaking it into two crisp halves. Sephiroth was left with his pen in midair, staring with raised eyebrows at where a mission report had been just moments ago. Now all of his papers were in a messy heap on the floor.

Usually Sephiroth was a very calm person. He didn't often get angry. Not when he was sent on missions with clumsy cadets, not even when said clumsy cadets forgot to bring tents and they had to camp out on the mushy ground in the middle of a rainstorm. But he did have one small pet peeve: neat paperwork. As the papers slid to the ground, some crumpling under others, some crushed by the broken desk, Sephiroth slowly stood up. His normal, placid face had turned dark. His teeth were slightly bared and his fists were curled tightly at his sides.

"Genesis." He growled.

"What?" Genesis snapped in return, still too red in the face to notice the change in Sephiroth's manner.

Angeal noticed though, and so had the dancers. They began murmuring nervously. Then they shrieked as Sephiroth lunged at Genesis and bowled him over.

Angeal rushed the women into the stairwell and down the flight of stairs. As they passed him, they all muttered their thanks and some even kissed him on the cheek causing the faintest pink to stain his ears and nose.

When Angeal got back to the office, he found Genesis and Sephiroth rolling on the floor trading blows. He went to stop them, but froze right before he did. Perhaps they would tire themselves out. For Genesis – in particular – this would probably count as some form of therapy, right? Angeal hoped so as he, too, followed the dancers down to the ground floor. Perhaps he could cool his own nerves by chatting to Miranda down at the reception…

* * *

After the scuffle with Sephiroth, Genesis decided to take the day off on Wednesday (which Angeal was rather thankful for) leaving Angeal to go to work on his own. He reasoned that (as he put another ice pack on his arm to ward off the bruises) as long as he stayed home, Zack couldn't pull pranks on him. Especially with the Turks having set up surveillance around the house.

Angeal hadn't wanted to have surveillance, but since he had had to choose between loss of privacy and Genesis's sanity, he had chosen Genesis's sanity (it would be better in the long run – he thought).

Genesis applied more cream to his black eye and gingerly felt his split lip. Then he sat on his favourite armchair (although there really were only two and they were identical) and opened his laptop. Even if he couldn't be _at_ work, he could still do a few things from the apartment. That was when the parade for Wednesday began.

He opened his laptop to find that he had a reasonably large number of emails. The first one that popped up was from his parents. Curious as to why his parents would be sending him emails (since they often didn't) he opened it and began reading:

_My darling Genesis,  
I hope you are doing well, my love. Your father and I miss you greatly, but we're proud of you and your achievements at SOLDIER and are happy to support you whenever you need us. We have been keeping up with the news about SOLDIER and, in particular, you. A few days ago though, we received some photos and news that someone had confessed their feelings for you during a lunch break. Your father and I are thrilled that you've found love, but we do wish you had been the one to tell us, rather than us hearing it from the weekly newsletter. Your father is quite happy and wonders if we could be expecting grandchildren (adopted or otherwise) any time soon. Oh, it will be so lovely to have the house full again. _

_Your mummy and daddy love you  
Mummy and daddy. _

Genesis read the last line and took in a deep breath. He held it for a few seconds then exhaled. Okay. No, it still wasn't enough. He took in another breath, held it and exhaled. Then a third. He finally managed to calm down enough to look back at the screen. How on Gaia… why…? Questions started buzzing in Genesis's head. What were his parent's talking about when they said that he'd found love? What newsletter were they talking about? Why were there photos? _Grandchildren_? His head began to throb slightly. He couldn't deal with it this early in the morning (it was actually around noon). He decided to leave it for when Angeal got back home and opened another email:

_Dear Genesis,  
Thank you for signing up to our dating site. You have 543 new dating requests._ It said.

What? He read the line again, hoping he had been seeing things (He hadn't signed up for a dating site!). No, it still said the same thing. He deleted it immediately and opened another email:

_Dear Genesis,  
Your order for our latest hair-loss product has been confirmed. Please expect our amazing new product to arrive in the mail in the next week._

Then another email:

_Genesis, in reply to your troubling question, perhaps you should drink warm milk before going to bed. It will help you fall asleep and hopefully prevent you from having dreams in which your friends are always naked. Also, a refreshing shower in the morning should help with your other concern. (I'm afraid I can't help you with the hair-loss though, sorry)._

The emails just kept going:

_Dear Genesis, thank you for contributing to the forum. However your reply "I AM GOD YOU PATHETIC HUMANS. WORSHIP ME!" has been deemed inappropriate and you have been banned from our religious website_ _for the next 48 hours. _

_Dear Genesis, there are fifteen singles in your area who share interests with you:  
Interests: [pink ribbons, fairy floss, stalking Sephiroth, Fangirlism]_

_Dear Sir, due to your scathing and downright rude letter to the actors, you are banned from attending the 'Loveless on Stage' production. Sincerely, the manager. _

After reading the last email, Genesis fainted onto the floor. And that was how Angeal found him when he came home: curled up into a small ball and shivering with his eyes squeezed shut.

* * *

Both the storm and Genesis had calmed down by Thursday. The previous day's mishaps had been sorted: a number of false accounts under Genesis's name had been deleted and Angeal had rung and apologised profusely to the director and cast of the 'Loveless on Stage' production while Genesis cried in the background. Genesis had then been un-banned from the production. Genesis's parents had also been contacted and informed that Genesis did not have a lover and that, sadly, they could not expect grandchildren ("Oh hello Angeal, dear. It's so lovely to hear from you! We wish Genny would call us as often…").

By this point, it was concluded that no matter where Genesis went (or didn't go) he would be the object of Zack's pranks until they caught the boy. So that was why, on Thursday morning, Genesis found himself in the office staring at large posters of attractive swimsuit models in various seductive poses.

"Genesis! This is dishonourable!" Angeal scolded his friend.

Genesis merely cast an irritated glance at Angeal and went back to staring at the voluptuous brunette in a bikini that was dangerously too small for her. Sephiroth too, was staring at the posters with a mix of curiosity and interest. He had forgotten about Tuesday's fight and was quite agreeable to Genesis again (the expensive new desk he had been supplied with might have had something to do with it).

Frustrated with the lack of shame on Genesis's behalf, Angeal made to take the posters down (while carefully avoiding looking at them). Genesis grabbed his arm.

"Don't" He growled "This is the one good thing that's happened all week. I don't want you to ruin it."

"But, Genesis –"

"No!"

Before Angeal could further chastise him, the phone of Angeal's desk rang. He went to pick it up.

"Angeal speaking"

"_Angeal, would you, Genesis, and Sephiroth come to my office for a few minutes?_" Lazard's smooth voice intoned.

"Yes, of course." Angeal hung up and motioned for Genesis and Sephiroth to follow him "Lazard wants to see us."

They arrived at his office wondering if they had a new mission, and if so, what kind of mission would require the attention of all three First Class SOLDIERs. As it turned out, it wasn't a mission. Apparently, word had spread that Genesis had taken a lover and there were photos to prove it.

Genesis's jaw dropped when Lazard presented them with a printed article showing pictures of a very shocked Genesis sitting next to an equally shocked Angeal in the Army mess hall while being serenaded by a small blonde.

"Wh –where did you get these?!" Genesis squawked.

Lazard pointed at the top of the page which had a logo and the words _Red Leather Fan club_ on it.

Angeal sucked in a breath. Someone had taken pictures that day and had sent them to Genesis's fan club. Sephiroth must have reached the same conclusion, but he took it one step further.

"It is quite possible that Zack and his partner are using these pranks to take unusual pictures of Genesis and selling them to his fan club." He said. Genesis went three shades paler than he usually was.

"We should show these to Tseng." Angeal muttered seriously. Sephiroth nodded.

Genesis, who had gone into a daze up until that moment, snapped out and said "But this is just me looking surprised. Why are they saying I have a… a… you know… _interest_" (he couldn't bring himself to say 'lover'. He felt that if he did, it would somehow destroy what little dignity he had left).

Lazard frowned and turned over the paper (_There was more,_ Angeal noted with horror). On the second page was Genesis carrying the same blonde cadet over his shoulder with a sly smirk on his face. Underneath it was a caption saying "_Genesis takes his lover away from prying eyes. By the look on his face, he intends to have some fun before lunch is over."_

Genesis gaped with bulging eyes. "I – We – We were going to interrogate him… I knocked him out… This is…"

Angeal and Sephiroth grabbed a shoulder each as Genesis began swaying dangerously.

"This is all wrong…" Genesis gasped out at Angeal.

"I know, I know, we'll sort this out." He promised.

Two hours, five cups of tea, three recitals of Loveless and a very irritated Lazard later, Angeal and Sephiroth managed to walk Genesis out of Lazard's office (he had sat on the floor and refused to move). When they got back to their office, the exotic posters (which Angeal –dishonourably – had hoped would cheer Genesis up) had been replaced; this time with posters of various unsightly models (these had to be modified images. _No one_ could have eyebrows that big and square or legs that impossibly long and spidery) in unbearably small swimwear (Sephiroth observed these with curiosity and interest too). Angeal tore them down immediately, whilst trying not to gag.

Genesis meanwhile had staggered to his desk and had collapsed onto the chair with his eyes closed. When he finally dared to open them, he found a photo on his desk. He eyed it cautiously before picking it up. It was a picture of his rapier next to the counter at the reception. Genesis stared at it in confusion. Then he looked around to where he had left his rapier before going to see Lazard. It wasn't there. Genesis stared harder at the spot. Still, it did not materialise in front of him. Then he checked under his desk. Then Angeal's desk. Then Sephiroth's desk. Nothing.

"My rapier's gone" He said. Then his eyes landed on the photo again. He gasped and tore out of the room before anyone could stop him. If Zack was holding his precious sword hostage, well, he didn't know what he'd do once he found him.

Genesis ran out of the elevator and skidded to a halt in front of the reception desk.

"Where's my rapier?" He asked breathlessly. The receptionist (Miranda was at her lunch break so Julie had taken over) glanced at him nervously and hesitantly handed him another photo. It was his rapier again. This time it was under the painting of the Highwind Airship. _The exhibit room!_ Genesis rushed there as fast as his legs would carry him only to find another photo.

After that, Genesis's search led him to:

The gym on floor sixty-four,  
Hojo's lab on floor sixty-eight (Thank Goddess the professor was away),  
The Replica of Midgar on floor sixty-five (a few replica buildings may have been crushed once Genesis found another photo instead of his rapier there),  
The lounge on floor sixty-one,  
The gym again,  
The archives on floor forty-five,  
Lazard's office on floor fifty-one (he was _not_ pleased to see Genesis again),  
The Shin-Ra shop (they had replica's of his rapier, but not the actual sword),  
And finally, Scarlet's office on floor sixty-six.

Fortunately for Genesis, Scarlet was also out for lunch when he smashed open her office door in search of his rapier. _Un_fortunately for Genesis, his rapier was nowhere to be found in the office either. Instead, lying on the floor in the very centre of the room, there was a defaced copy of Loveless.

For the second time in two days, Genesis fainted.

An hour after Genesis had run out of the room in search of his sword, Angeal's phone rang. He put his pen down and saw Sephiroth look up from his work. Cautiously Angeal answered.

"Angeal speaking."

"_Get your stupid friend out of here!_" A shrill female voice shouted. Angeal held the phone away from his ear.

"Sorry, who is this?"

"_Scarlet! This is Scarlet! Now get him out of here!_"

Angeal had a bad feeling. "What is he doing?" _Oh please, please don't have set her office on fire._

"_He's passed out on my carpet!_" At least her office was okay.

"Oh. I'll be there immediately." Angeal hung up and sighed as he went to retrieve the auburn.

What a week it had been.

**Forsook is a word apparently. It's the past tense of forsake. It sounds so wrong though!  
Long chapter, I know. **

**-Halo**


	8. Fridays Should be Fun Days

**There were some pretty good suggestions as to what pranks Zack should play, but unfortunately, I couldn't fit them all in. Alas, one man can only suffer so much. I'm such an awful person :D**

"I wonder if they'll ever use it" Zack sighed as he watched his friend fiddle around on the computer.

"Probably. There are no other training grounds and outside is just too wet…" The friend said as he plucked a materia out of a box and lobbed it towards Zack.

Zack grinned as he caught it. Looking at the materia he mumbled "Well, at least _this_ will be fun, the colour changes should be quite spectacular."

Cloud stared at the two of them apprehensively. "Is this okay?" He asked

"Yes, yes, this is fine." The man waved away the cadet's worries as Zack handed the materia to him.

"Also, Cloud, we need you to do one more thing for us…"

* * *

The storm had resumed its former fury by Friday. It raged and howled and the wind and rain slashed against the buildings and against anyone who dared to go outside. However, being in SOLDIER meant that you could not stay home because of a mere storm (gale force winds and all).

That was why Angeal and Genesis found themselves thoroughly battered and soaked and in the narrow elevator along with Sephiroth's new secretary who was idly staring off into space (Joel had resigned after Genesis had managed to get a hold of him and 'interrogate' him too). Angeal gave the new girl a quick smile, but she seemed not to notice.

They reached their floor and the two SOLDIERs exited onto a fluorescent-pink walled corridor (for some reason the secretary stayed in the elevator, still looking a bit lost. Angeal was pretty sure that this was the floor she was after if she was indeed Sephiroth's secretary). Upon seeing the wallpaper, Angeal closed his eyes in silent acceptance; this was just another one of Zack's pranks. The Firsts would only have to put up with it until the boy was caught – which, according to an email Tseng had sent the previous night, would be soon.

The pair made their way to their office without meeting any other obstacles, and found Sephiroth pacing around the small (also pink) room. He appeared calm, but Angeal, after knowing him for a number of years, knew that this wasn't the case: Sephiroth was feeling restless. Indeed, because of the storm and lack of SOLDIER floor, all three Firsts had been cooped up inside without any exercise. Furthermore, due to Zack's constant pranks over the last week (Angeal noted that he was now fully and unreservedly blaming Zack for these pranks), stress levels were high and the three men desperately needed to blow off steam.

It was Genesis who suggested it: "I think…" he began slowly as Sephiroth stopped pacing and turned to face him, "I think… we could _probably_ go to the training room on level forty-nine…"

Angeal arched his eyebrows, "I would agree," he said quietly, "But, we don't have access. And the SOLDIER floor is still pretty damaged."

Genesis nodded but didn't give up. "Well, yes, but our offices were at one end of the floor and the training room was at the other… I think, just maybe…?"

Sephiroth instantly agreed to the idea.

* * *

That was why Sephiroth, Angeal and Genesis found themselves in the training room on level forty-nine. As Genesis had predicted, the training room wasn't _too_ damaged and the simulation gear was completely intact. In fact, the only issues they faced were: getting to the SOLDIER floor (they used the stairs as the elevator refused) and opening the training room door (a few well placed kicks from Genesis did the job quite nicely). All in all, Genesis, Sephiroth and Angeal were looking forward to the training session they had gained access to.

On the way in, Sephiroth had suggested simulating Wutai warriors to fight against and Angeal, noting that it would be safer than hacking at each other (tensions were very high and Genesis was _very_ volatile), seconded the notion. So, after entering the room, Sephiroth went over to the controls and set it up so that a hundred simulated Wutai soldiers appeared.

Except, the Wutai soldiers _didn't_ appear. Instead, a hundred simulated figures of Genesis appeared: a hundred simulated Genesis', each wearing a unique (and rather disturbing) outfit. They ranged from Genesis in an overly flamboyant wedding dress to Genesis' in board shorts (both men's and women's). They were also at various levels of nudity ranging from fully clothed (in a hippo onesie and mask) to barely anything (in shockingly small briefs). Angeal gratefully noted that none of them were completely exposed. They were also all doing ridiculous activities. One of them, wearing an eggplant suit, was standing on his toes doing pirouettes and little ballet leaps. Another one, dressed entirely in leather, was dancing provocatively, trusting his hips to either side and making kissy faces. There were even a few Genesis's giving other Genesis's piggyback rides, running in circles, howling and…performing dark rituals…? Angeal stared disbelievingly as one Genesis sacrificed another Genesis chanting loudly as he did so.

Genesis observed all of these silently. Angeal could see his face reddening. His hands began twitching, followed by his eye. Soon, his face had contorted into a very unusual expression: his lips were pressed together and pulled viciously downwards and his cheeks were puffed out and an angry red. His eyes bulged and his nose flared. Then Genesis spotted something that finally set him off: it was a simulation in a form-fitting, short dress twerking as another Genesis simulation dressed as a clown in overalls threw petals at him.

Genesis blew.

With a roar he launched himself at the nearest sim Genesis and began to slice it violently. He slashed through a dozen Genesis sims before he gave another roar and flung his rapier away (it landed precariously close to Angeal). He began to punch and kick and bowl over the sims, emitting small, satisfied grunts as he did so.

Sephiroth had come back from the control room by this time and stared in mild surprise as Genesis tore through the sims. He stood there for a while, then, after determining that there were enough sims to share, he too began to cut through them. Angeal, however, was just rooted to the spot, gaping in incredulity.

As the last Genesis simulation burst into tiny pixels, the real figure stomped his way (in all his odorous and sweaty glory) over to Angeal. He didn't turn towards his friend, but instead muttered "I need a shower." before shoving past and out the door. Sephiroth coolly followed after Genesis and Angeal followed the two sullenly.

* * *

As the hot water washed over Angeal, he felt slightly more relaxed. Slightly. He could see that Genesis was still fuming inside at the humiliation that he had endured at having to face a hundred absurd copies of himself, but he could also see that Genesis's shoulders were just the tiniest bit looser than they had been before.

Angeal was jolted out of his reverie when a foamy haired Sephiroth handed him a bottle of shampoo. It was the generic stuff that was often found in the Shin-Ra shower rooms: plain and slightly fragranced, but not something that would do miracles for your hair. Angeal grunted in thanks as he accepted the bottle and squeezed a modest helping into his hand. Then he passed it silently to Genesis who accepted listlessly.

As he rubbed it into his hair, he casually glanced at Sephiroth. And froze. The SOLDIER First's normally platinum silver hair had turned midnight blue (which was a surprisingly good look for him). He hurriedly pulled one of his own bangs into his range of vision and nearly choked as he saw that it had gone white. Then, filled with trepidation, he ever so slowly turned towards Genesis. Angeal groaned horribly. Instead of the usual auburn colour of autumn leaves, Genesis's hair had gone bright, neon green like some radioactive jellyfish.

Genesis had yet to notice all of this as he was still much too agitated. Of course, it was Sephiroth (in all his social wisdom) who pointed out the changes in everyone's hair colour.

"My hair has turned black." He commented. "Angeal, yours has turned white. Genesis, yours is green."

Genesis's eyes snapped towards the First.

"Wha…" he yelled as he yanked some of his own hair down into his eyes to see. Unfortunately, those strands of hair happened to have shampoo in them… shampoo which was transferred, upon contact, from Genesis's hair, to his eyes.

As Genesis screamed in pain, Angeal grabbed his hands and tried to pry them away from his eyes as he simultaneously tried to turn his face towards the running water.

"Genesis, we need to flush your eyes!" He barked sternly. Genesis howled in response.

It took a good twenty minutes to wash away the shampoo (truthfully, it only took three minutes; the rest of the time was spent calming Genesis down), then another 30 for Genesis to accept that his hair had now gone green. He tousled it furiously under the hot water hoping to wash it out, but it was useless.

"How did this happen?" He hissed.

Angeal shot Sephiroth a glare as the other man opened his mouth to explain.

(After discovering the colour changes, Sephiroth had instinctively reached the conclusion that it had something to do with the shampoo. And he was right: upon opening the container and upending it into his palm, a small yellow materia had fallen into his open hand.)

"It's fine, we'll go down to the hairdressers and get it dyed" Angeal tried to soothe Genesis, but he wasn't listening. Instead he banged his fist against the tiled walls and grabbed his towel. He hastily wrapped it around himself and stormed out of the showers into the locker room. Angeal wearily followed. He wished he hadn't.

They entered the locker room to discover that their clothes had gone missing. Or rather, that they had been replaced. Instead of Angeal's standard SOLDIER First Class uniform, there was a periwinkle blue shirt emblazoned with stars of various colours and skin-tight black pants. Sephiroth's new clothes happened to be single, long maxi gown which was a deep shade of maroon and patterned with small cream roses. Genesis's clothes were, by far, the most outrageous: he had an orange prom dress (complete with the sparkles) which would be a tight fit at the top, but flared out in layers gorgeously at the bottom. _It looked expensive_, Angeal mentally noted. He wondered at how far Zack was willing to go for the sake of his pranks.

Looking at the gown, Genesis hunched up his shoulders and took a deep, _deep _breath. He shivered as he let it out and turned angrily towards Angeal.

"I'm _not_ wearing that." He snarled.

Angeal looked at him sadly, "But there's nothing else to wear…" He tried to reason.

"Doesn't matter. I'll go steal clothes from someone else." (Jim from accounting had bought a new suit a few days ago and it just so happened to be Genesis's size) "Until then, I'm staying in my towel." He growled.

And that was indeed how he stayed.

The Firsts walked back to their office – Angeal and Sephiroth in their new clothes (Sephiroth found the sensation of wearing a dress quite liberating around the nether regions) and Genesis in a towel.

On the way there, Genesis noted that they didn't come across a single person(barring Sephiroth's new secretary who was wandering around the corridor, however, as she was a girl and hence wearing women's clothing, Genesis didn't really want to steal from her. Also, they found out that she hadn't actually been hired so how she had ended up in the building at all was a mystery). Of course this was an issue for him as he couldn't steal clothes off non-existent people. So, leaving Angeal and Sephiroth in the office, he made off to the other floors (namely the floor where Jim worked). Angeal tried to stop him, but gave up on account of mental exhaustion as a result of the chaotic week.

Genesis arrived at the accounting department to discover that it was populated entirely by women. Women who shrieked and fainted as he came storming in (as frightening and angry as he was, he was still rather attractive – and in a towel too!), but no men and hence theft victims. Ire rising, he trialled a few more floors only to be met with the same response: Shrieking women, no men (to be fair though, there had already been a decrease in – booted – men working at Shin-Ra after his interrogation spree last week).

Absolutely failing to find a suitable candidate to steal clothes from, Genesis stomped back to his office where he found Sephiroth (happily) and Angeal (tiredly) trying to call the hairdressers.

As luck would have it, they couldn't get an appointment.

"All the hairdressers we've called…they're completely booked for the next two weeks." Angeal explained to his friend when he asked. Genesis shot him an incredulous look before snatching the phone from him and dialling up his favourite hairdressers.

"_Hello,_ _Stylist Hairdressers, this is Steve speaking_" a melodious voice answered.

"Hi, Genesis, SOLDIER First Class. I need to book an appointment to dye my hair immediately." Genesis intoned into the phone (he was a regular, he was sure he could get an appointment).

He clearly heard the man on the other side sigh. "_Ah, Genesis,_ _so sorry, we're completely booked for the next two weeks._"

Genesis hung up immediately and called another salon "_Purrfection Kitty Hairdressers – _"

"Hello, I urgently need an appointment…"

"_Sorry, we're full for the next two weeks…_"

Half a dozen calls later, Genesis had to concede that Angeal had been telling the truth: _all_ the hairdressers were booked. This, of course, made him very irritated (the words irritated/angry/volatile had become almost synonymous with the word Genesis by this point). He was nude and green-haired, and as much as he tried, he seemed to be unable to change either fact. Until it hit him: he _could _fix one of his problems! He was surprised that he hadn't thought of it before.

With his face suddenly splitting into a wide grin, Genesis gave Angeal and Sephiroth a quick salute before tearing out of the office again (Angeal merely sighed in response and went back to work. He'd given up. Yes, it was as simple as that, he had given up. Sephiroth, on the other hand, just waved. How depressing.).

_Silly silly Genesis! _He chided himself as the elevator made its way down to the ground floor, _if I can't steal clothes, I'll just go get my own!_

A plan had formed in his head. He would go down to his apartment, get fully dressed (he might even don his new boots to look extra intimidating) then march down to the hairdressers and demand that they dye his hair back to its original colour.

In essence, it was a great plan. The only real issue was that it was storming outside and Genesis was in a towel. Still, he reasoned, he was in SOLDIER and he had faced worse than this.

And so that was how Genesis exited the Shin-Ra Headquarters, into the raging storm covered in nothing but a small towel wrapped as tightly as it would go around his waist. He leaned forward against the wind as it pushed against him. With one hand holding his towel up as the wind made to tear it away (the towel was dangerously close to exposing his rear end and the wind seemed pretty determined to help it) and the other shielding his face from the stinging rain, he made his way down to his apartment block. He attracted a lot of stares from people in cars and shops and even from suburban house windows (who _wouldn't_ stare at an almost naked man with green hair battling against a storm in nothing more than a towel?) as he made his way there.

Entering the small foyer of the building, he shook himself, expelling the majority of water from his hair and causing the man at the reception to splutter in shock (Genesis didn't really want to steal the receptionist's clothes at this point, after all, he'd be able to get into his own soon enough). Then he hurried up to the fourth floor and up to his and Angeal's apartment door.

Then he reached into his pocket to get his keys. Only… he didn't have a pocket. And… he didn't have keys. _Ah_, he thought as he realised. He was in a wet towel with green hair locked out of his apartment because his keys had been left in his own clothes. _Of course. _

Genesis shuddered, the familiar red creeping into his face again (Angeal had once mused that it was his face, not his duster which had given him the title 'The Red Commander'). He had placed his keys in his duster, and his duster was not on his person because someone ('_Zack, I will kill you_' had become Genesis's new mantra) had taken them while he was in the shower.

Genesis swore under his breath. He wouldn't let this beat him. Raising a leg, he kicked the door to the apartment with all his might. Unfortunately, being a SOLDIER First meant that you were liable to assassination attempts and had to get a really kick-proof door, which was exactly what Genesis and Angeal had. So all that his mighty kick did was give Genesis a painful foot and more reason to swear (which he did quite profusely). Gritting his teeth against the pain, he tried punching it this time. His fist collided with the door but to no avail. Now, the other thing about being in SOLDIER was that, for aforementioned reason, you had to have a top-notch security system too. Angeal and Genesis had this as well. And it tripped as Genesis punched the door.

A high-pitched siren wailed throughout the building causing Genesis to shield his sensitive ears against the whining sound. He growled and gave the door a few more shoves before concluding that it would do no good. He hurried down to the foyer area again, realising that his only option was to steal clothes from that receptionist he'd seen. But things didn't always go Genesis's way. When he reached the reception, the receptionist was gone. In his place were two dozen or so Shin-Ra police officers. They lined the front of the foyer blocking the main doors.

Normally, this situation would have been easily resolved. Genesis would have quietly reasoned with the police, told them of his situation, and finally gained access to his apartment. Only this was not normal. Firstly, Genesis was naked and green-haired which meant none of the police recognised him (they all knew Genesis, they just didn't know that he was this deviant whom they had been confronted with), secondly, Genesis's mind had finally cracked, rendering him unable to think rationally.

Roaring half in frustration, half to intimidate the newcomers, Genesis ran to the side of the room and jumped out of a side window (in all his nude and green glory).

He fell onto the shards of glass that had accompanied him outside and staggered out from behind the bins. He (unreasonably) reasoned that he would still, if nothing else, have his hair dyed back. So he made off to his favourite hairdressers.

Running through the streets, being shoved about by the wind and struck by the rain, he noticed that he was being pursued by more and more Shin-Ra police in their cars. He faintly noticed screams and a few flashes as he streaked down the road (although this could have been the flashes of lightning and the screaming wind). The hair on his arms was raised due to adrenaline and his breath came out in misty gasps.

More and more Shin-Ra police appeared. It seemed like the whole department was after him. He swerved off the main road and began taking the alleyways. At least the police couldn't follow him into there with their bulky cars.

Finally, through the haze of rain, a bright neon sign appeared denoting the _Stylist Hairdressers_ salon. He made for it immediately.

Gasping for breath and shivering, he reached the shop and slammed open the door and tumbled in. There were only two customers who were getting their hair cut and seven empty chairs.

Genesis glared at all of them before catching sight of the store manager.

"Steve…" He growled.

Steve looked like he was about to faint (the hairdresser behind him did) and coughed "erm, hello Genesis…"

"I thought you said you were all booked…" Genesis advanced menacingly.

"We are!" Steve squeaked "We received a lot of appointments; it's just that…that no one has turned up yet." The unfortunate man was truly terrified.

"So… Since they're not here, _maybe_ you could squeeze me in?" Although Genesis had worded it like a request, his voice had gone dark and poisonous.

Poor Steve nodded and motioned for Genesis to sit in one of the chairs.

Satisfied that something was finally going his way, Genesis sat on the chair. However, no sooner had Steve himself thrown the cutting cape over Genesis's head when a group of Shin-Ra police officers burst into the salon (the hairdresser that had been recently revived fainted again).

"Sir, you're under arrest!" the chief officer said to Genesis. It appeared that the officer had yet to realise who it was.

"I'm… what…?" Genesis stood up threateningly. He began to advance towards the chief (who still hadn't recognised him). The chief gulped; though he didn't know the identity of the man, he was becoming uncomfortable with a very tall man in a very clingy towel (Oh dear Goddess, why did it have to cling in all the wrong places?) who was advancing towards him. Now, this officer had a nervous tic: whenever he became agitated he pulled out a taser and tased whoever it was that agitated him. In this case, it happened to be Genesis.

Genesis fell to the floor and began to buzz and swear as he was repeatedly tased.

_Bzzzt _

"Argh! You -"

_Bzzzt_

"I'll shove a -"

_Bzzzt_

"-Where the sun doesn't shi-"

_Bzzzt_

"-All eight tentacles-"

_Bzzzt_

"-In a dark alley-"

_Bzzzt_

"-Your mother's manlier than-"

_Bzzzt_

"-hope you fall into a coma!"

_Bzzzt_

At last Genesis gave up and slumped where he was, too fried to fight back. Before dragging him into the police van, the chief officer coughed nervously and asked if there were any spare clothes that the hairdressers might be able to lend to the nude arrestee. Unfortunately, all that could be found was a stylish, green one shoulder shirt and some very tight, navy blue, leather pants that a hairdresser had left in her locker. Genesis grunted resignedly as he was forced into the clothing.

* * *

And that was how Genesis spent the night in a police cell; green haired and dressed fabulously in a matching shirt.

The next morning, Angeal walked into the station and bailed him out.

"Tseng found the second culprit." Angeal informed him as they walked back to their apartment "We're to go see Hojo on Monday and he'll tell us." He said.

As a thin ray of light broke through the heavy clouds, Genesis thought it was the best news he had heard all week. He was going to brutally murder Zack... he thought happily.

**Sorry it took so long. I had work and writer's block, neither of which was helpful in writing this.  
Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. (I'm so fried). **

**Reviews greatly appreciated.  
-Halo **


	9. Perpetrators Will Be Found Out

**So, I didn't finish this and university started. Currently in the middle of the first wave of assignments, but I thought I'd do as much of this as possible (it's good to take a break).**

**I was convinced that most of my other stories were pretty bad so I read through them to decide which ones to take down. Then I kind of changed my mind because I liked them, in a funny sort of way (nostalgia, I think). I realised that I had written a fair bit of angst in the past, but I was going through a pretty rough time back then. I didn't realise it, but I was kind of depressed. Not majorly so, just a bit. Either way, then there was a pause where a lot of things happened and I got worse. To the point where I couldn't really concentrate on my studies and a lot less on anything else. I kind used to become panicky and feel constantly sick and so, **_**so**_** fearful of everything. I never wanted to leave the house and I **_**never**_** thought I'd be able to achieve anything. I'd think of going out then I'd instantly feel sick. I didn't even want to talk to my friends anymore. Just curl up and never do anything again. But, of course, that changed. Slowly, slowly, I got better and only then did I realise the kind of place I had been in. I'm so glad to have escaped. I try to write humour, but I know some of my stories are tainted with a kind of "darker vibe" (I adore the friend who told me this – also, I'm referring mostly to other stories, ones I don't have up on this site). I think I **_**can **_**write humour now because I'm happier. Nothing beats being happy. I've made that my life goal :D**

**Anyway, it seems I've done a kind of (long) personal history. I sound a bit stuck up, but I think I'll leave it in. I want people to know that… well, bad things happen. Then good things happen afterwards too XD. You just have to keep moving forward as hard as it is. **

**I wonder if I should do a Halo's Corner kind of thing. I want people to know that they're not alone. Maybe I'd sound too stuck up and self important. Heheh, silly Halo. **

**Anyway, enjoy this chapter – **

* * *

"How hard is it to get this guy to blush?" he snapped in irritation "He ran down the street naked, in a _storm_ for Goddess' sake. And he _still_ managed to keep a straight face…!" the man rustled through the large number of photos before him, clucking disapprovingly.

"Yeah… and because he ran out in public, others got photos of him to sell to Red Leather, meaning that the demand for your photos is going down… I think this plan's falling apart" Zack told him sadly.

The other man grimaced. "One more shot." He said. "And I assure you, this one will be quite a _performance_."

* * *

Monday dawned dull and grey and although the streets outside were damp, Genesis's mood wasn't. The materia's effect on his hair had worn off and his clothes had been restored. Even his tickets to _Loveless on Stage_ had arrived in the mail the previous day (delivered by a postman who was grumbling about having to work on Sundays because of the pampered Shin-Ra…_Angeal hiccupped hearing such dishonourable words_).

So naturally, Genesis was in an excellent mood. He jumped out of bed at six in the morning and was ready to go by seven. Angeal was much slower (having gotten _up_ at seven) and, of course, this caused a lot of loud exclamations from the auburn to the raven urging him to hurry up. Still, a bouncy (and somewhat silly) Genesis was preferred to an angry one.

It wasn't raining when they left the apartment, the storm having finally eased, so the pair arrived at Shin-Ra headquarters quite dry and in high spirits (Genesis was in high spirits, Angeal had been exhausted by this whole business and _very_ ready to get it over with). They arrived at the reception to find a messy haired Sephiroth leaning on the desk drinking coffee out of a lifeless white mug while ignoring the receptionist who was fruitlessly trying to… ahem, _present her better qualities_. Poor receptionist.

Genesis greeted Sephiroth cheerily and Angeal raised his eyebrows in question at the General.

"Genesis messaged me to meet you two here at half past seven." Sephiroth replied verbally "I had just woken up five minutes prior and therefore had little time to get ready…"

Angeal made a small grunt of understanding before Genesis grabbed both his and Sephiroth's arms and hauled them into the elevator.

"You're in a good mood." Sephiroth observed the obvious while straightening his tangles with one hand and taking a sip of coffee with the other.

"Well, yeah! We get to find out who Zack's working with!" Genesis bounced on the balls of his feet. _And, I can finally put a face to my…_other_ victim_ he thought gleefully.

They arrived in Professor Hojo's lab to find the professor locked up in a small, square glass room vivaciously stirring something in a rather large beaker which was boiling over a flame next to a large ball of white fluff on the bench. Genesis tapped on the glass and the professor froze abruptly and spun around. Upon realising who it was that had come to see him, he unlocked his door and shuffled out.

He came up to them and, although much shorter, looked up at each with an expression of superiority. Angeal cringed with a rising sense of discomfort; the professor had always made him uneasy.

"Yes?" Hojo asked once he had roved his eerie eyes over all three firsts.

Genesis began "So, Tseng said you had information for us." He said eagerly.

Hojo nodded, "Yes…" Although leaving his sentence sounding incomplete, the professor did not elaborate.

There was a small silence before Angeal decided that the professor wasn't going to say any more.

"…and… do you _have_ the information?" the raven asked somewhat hesitantly.

"Naturally." The professor looked slightly annoyed as he pulled a thin file out of his coat and waved it under the SOLDIER's noses before hurriedly shoving it back in.

"And…?" Genesis was becoming more and more excited, his eyes fixed greedily on where the professor had hidden the file again.

"_And…_ I require payment for the information." The professor intoned greasily.

"Payment?" Sephiroth's deep voice questioned. Tseng had not mentioned a payment. Still, it wasn't unreasonable, he reasoned.

"Yes, of course. My information is not free."

"I see…" Angeal replied slowly. As loath as he was to part with his hard earned money, he valued his sanity (and a calm Genesis) much more than a few notes of cash (or so he hoped. He didn't want to pay _too _much).

"So, how much… er…. Do we owe you?" Angeal asked uneasily.

"Some hair samples will suffice" Hojo smiled nastily up at them.

"Oh." The Firsts were taken aback by his answer.

Sephiroth was the first to recover and speak: "Why do you need hair samples?" he asked.

"I –" The professor began, but Genesis butted in.

"It's because he's going bald." He answered as if it was the most natural and obvious thing in the world. He was still too elated to realise that he had just insulted the man who was providing them with much needed information.

It was the professor's turn to look taken aback.

"I am not going bald!" He sneered up at the red commander.

"Then why do you need hair?" Genesis asked, still in an obliviously jovial mood.

"That is not your business." The professor answered haughtily.

"Genesis, leave it." Angeal interjected before Genesis could speak again.

Sephiroth joined in with his unhelpful observations "Of course, I understand now. Genesis, the professor is shy about his hair loss." He said casually as if he had solved a riddle.

"I am not! And I am not _losing_ hair!" Hojo retorted.

"Oh, then I bet it's because you expect to lose hair? I bet your dad was bald. Doesn't that kind of thing run in families?" Genesis rattled off, even though Angeal was trying in vain to silence his friend.

"Yes it does!" The professor scoffed "But I'll have you know, my father had a full head of hair until his death. Besides, the baldness gene is X-linked." The professor seemed satisfied with his explanation.

"So your mother was bald?" Genesis asked.

Angeal brought his hand to his head while Sephiroth interjected (with such seriousness) with: "Genesis had previously informed me that he is to receive a hair loss product in the mail soon, perhaps you would like to borrow it from him?"

Before Hojo could snap or Genesis could make another comment, Angeal slapped his hands over both Genesis and the professor's mouths and shot a silencing glare at Sephiroth who shut his opening mouth immediately.

Genesis and Hojo stared at Angeal in shock before Angeal quickly drew his hand back (oh Goddess, he could feel where the professors crackly, dry lips had met his palm. He suppressed a shudder assuring himself that he would use industrial strength antimicrobial soap to wash his hand later).

"Anyway…" Angeal began awkwardly "Er… about that payment…"

The white ball of fluff chose that moment to launch itself off the table and slam into the glass wall of the room. The SOLDIERs stared in surprise… What went on in these labs?

* * *

After the professor had sat them all down and pulled a few hairs from each of their heads (he seemed to yank some extra hairs from Genesis's scalp. Something that Genesis noted and complained loudly about, exclaiming that his hair was too 'beautiful' to be seen on the professor's soon-to-be-bald head), he had handed them the file.

Genesis instantly grabbed it and cradled it against his chest as if it were his new-born child.

Angeal hurriedly thanked Hojo and the SOLDIERs hastened out of the lab and back up to their floor.

Once inside their office with the door securely shut, Genesis carefully laid the file on his desk and gently opened it.

A name and a passport sized photo of a man were on the first sheet. Angeal sucked in a breath and Sephiroth's brow furrowed in seriousness.

"_Kunsel_" Genesis breathed.

**Well done to everyone who guessed Kunsel! I guess it got a bit obvious, but still! Well done! Woo! (I did think about changing who it was just to mix things up a bit – y'know, like Reno in SOLDIER gear just to mess with people's heads – but I severely dislike the idea of adding in characters just to make it unpredictable. I think that would weaken the plot because you have someone who fits in so solidly, and if you just change them on a whim… well, it's no fun)**

**Has anyone noticed how the characters in FF7:CC talk with a lot of pauses?  
I adore L's First Theme from Death Note. Goodness, aren't I chatty today? **

'**Til next time!**


End file.
